Square Dance Etiquette Question

[bjarvis]

A relatively new square dancer asked me the following question tonight:
How do you politely deal with someone who wishes to be your dance partner but makes you exceedingly uncomfortable?

I suggested pre-emptively ensuring you have a partner already arranged for the upcoming tip but this ducks the issue rather than dealing with it. Likewise choosing to sit out a tip rather than dance with the objectionable party is inadequate: one shouldn't have to sacrifice one's own participation in an event just because of one individual.

Thoughts?

Comments

[trawnapanda.livejournal.com]

In the days of Jane Austen, people only danced with their same social class, [etc]

What makes you think there weren't toxic dancers in Jane Austen's time? Catherine Morland finds herself stuck dancing with the socially inept John Thorpe, when she'd rather be dancing with Henry Tilney, and Lizzie Bennet finds herself wanting to dance with George Wickham, but instead unwillingly snagged by the execrable Mr Collins, and later by the quite- undesirable- at- the- time Mr Darcy. There's nothing new about the problem of icky potential dance partners.

(nb I am NOT trying to say that your typical stalker-lookalike is really Fitzwilliam Darcy with pots o'cash underneath an unattractive exterior).

The problem is old, the solution is old. "no thank you, I'm a) sitting this one out / b) dancing with CD".

As to dealing with repeated unwanted invitations, Miss Manners advises (in order, for iterative approaches) 1) polite refusal 2) slightly less polite refusal 3) the cut direct [direct stare, cold "no thank you", turning your back]