Are We Having Fun Yet?

February was such a nightmare but it is wrapping up well.

I had a root canal, my first ever, on Feb 6. While the procedure itself wasn't too complicated and not at all uncomfortable, there were some issues for the rest of that week, including general aches & soreness and infection. Neither complications were unexpected --I had been given the literature and a prescription for amoxycillin at the endodontist's office-- but it wasn't pleasant.

And the following day, I was whisked off to the Advanced & Challenge square dance event in DC that DC Lambda Squares hosts every year. Sadly, this is the last: the old team is burnt out, and there aren't any obvious folks stepping forward to run the show. And it has typically lost $1-2k per year, so the club is deciding to cut its losses.

I danced as much as I could while feeling somewhat off, but I spent most of Saturday in the hotel room: I was too sick to do much, felt utterly exhausted, and the ache in my jaw & sensitivity in the root canal tooth made eating unbearable. Most of that weekend is simply a blur.

Mercifully, that Presidents' Day Monday was a company holiday so I could catch up on sleep.

I was supposed to have a karate belt test the following week, but knowing I would be travelling to California for business, I had made arrangements for my test to be the upcoming Thursday. But in my exhausted & severely weakened state, I knew I couldn't do it: I could barely summon the energy to walk to the dojo.

Still, I went on Wednesday and Thursday, driving rather than walking, just so I could keep abreast of any tips or suggestions for my eventual test, and to reinforce the habit of attending.

At the Thursday class, I apologized to Sensei that I wasn't physically able to test that night as we had previously agreed. He said that it wasn't a problem, he knew I had everything down cold, and we could do a full test when I got back from Canada in early March. And with that, we began the regular beginner class.

He had the white belts rehearse their kata, and had me work mine, we did some kick and punching drills which we would be performing for our tests, and so on. For my belt test, I'd have to perform eight kata; this night, I could do all eight but I needed a couple minutes of rest between each to get my energy back.

The white belts were going to be doing side kicks for their formal board-breaking ceremony as part of the belt graduation. My cohort would be doing flying side-kicks: run at the target, leap in the air, rotate the hips and pull back the knee of the kicking leg towards the gut, then extend the leg cleanly forward with a burst of energy, striking the target point with the blade/heel of the foot. Oh, then land with at least some dignity on the other foot.

The drills were exhausting: I wasn't so much running as briskly walking. Still, it was a new move for me, and a pretty damn exciting one at that. It's a freaking flying side kick... how cool is that?!

Finally, as we were about to end the class, he pulled over two white belts. Each was to hold firmly one side of the board, a hand on each corner, keeping the board facing out at chest level. And I was ordered to break the board with the newly learned flying side kick.

If I had more energy, I could have delivered that at head level, but chest level was fine: I hit it squarely and broke the board on the first try. The white belts were suitably relieved.

And Sensei handed me my brown belt: I had passed the test, perhaps not with the best energy, but I did the work. Being tested without knowing I was being tested was actually a great kindness: I was able to focus on doing well what I could do, rather than trying to do everything to perfection and berating myself for not being at 100%.

I was also shocked how relieved I was when this was all done. I had been carrying a huge amount of stress about so many things coming up, as well as tasks delayed & accumulating. Finally, I had a major task which was done & finished, and I needed that particular victory to help me get through the coming storm.

I regret I didn't get photos or video of that board break, and the guys couldn't attend the graduation (because we didn't know it would be a graduation), but there will be others.

And with that done, I went home for too few hours of sleep before flying to San Francisco the following morning.

Last Friday, I came down with a stomach bug of some kind. It was no big surprise: Kent had been spewing from both ends for two days prior, so it was only a matter of time before his cellmates caught the same bug. Friday night, I had an extreme temperature spike overnight and was feeling well enough Saturday, but had low energy and needed to stay within a few steps of a bathroom until late Sunday.

Monday night, I was feeling well enough that I went to karate. By the time that I had walked there however, I realized I had no energy at all for this. I might be able to go through the motions, but badly, and it's likely that my balance would be non-existent. In short, I'd be dead pretty quickly.

If I couldn't kick or punch, I could at least sit at the sidelines to watch and perhaps learn something new. And I did learn something: I learned that my classmates suck at cardio.

We usually start with 50 jumping jacks, then 15 push-ups, a number of yoga-like stretches, etc.. Except for the jumping jacks, we're all heads-down so I've never been able to see what my classmates are doing, especially when I'm doing my own thing to my best ability. This evening, I was able to see the entire class, and what I saw were incredibly limp jumping jacks. And the push-ups! Dropping half-way instead of to the floor, pivoting from one's knees instead of toes, and going soooo slowly. The stretches were equally half-hearted. And later in the class, the punches were slow, soft & unthreatening. I will admit many in the class can kick higher than I can, but what's the point when there's no energy behind them?

I have to confess my abs aren't up to the full workout: crunches, then bicycle crunches, etc., for nearly ten minutes, all in quick succession. I'm in pain half-way through. And I will admit this aging body can't bend & stretch as much as others, but it's not for lack of effort.

This past Monday, I passed my test for my green belt. This is still a beginner level belt, of course, but my next belt will move me into the intermediate group.


So far:
- White belt at first class, Aug 17, 2017
- Yellow (gold) belt at first exam, Nov 28, 2017
- Orange belt at second exam, Feb 26, 2018
- Green belt at third exam, May 28, 2018
From this pattern, I expect the next belt exam (blue) will be at the end of August. I also anticipate that progress will become a lot more difficult when I graduate from the beginner levels. Send Aleve.

In each exam, there is a ceremonial breaking of a board. For my first exam, we used a side kick. For my second, I attempted a round kick but failed: I was pulling back because I was afraid of kicking wild and injuring our dear sensei holding the board. Ultimately, I succeeded with a side kick, but I learned I need to either let go of my fear of harming someone, or at least develop the aim & control required to ensure I can use any kick on the board with complete confidence.

In this latest exam, we were to use a palm strike. And that's when I suddenly discovered there was extra material covered during my Amsterdam & Toronto trips which I completely missed. Palm strike? WTF? Fortunately, I was last among eight graduates so I had time to observe the others carefully; one chap needed four hits before he landed the winning blow, so I also had a good counter-example. When it came my turn, I broke the board on my first try. Go me!

We traditionally keep our prior belts, mostly for sentimentality and as a reminder of where we began. Now that I have three retired belts, it's time to get a proper display rack for them (Heavy duty hint to husbands thinking about xmas presents...).

I'm planning to do a double-class this Saturday morning, kick-boxing followed by karate, old body willing.

As recorded here earlier this year, I took up karate in August at a local dojo which opened earlier this year in our general neighbourhood. Friends had studied karate years ago and frequently mentioned how much they enjoyed it, and I've had a general interest in martial arts since I was a kid, so why not? After all, if now now, when?

In the past, my casual inquiries were stymied by the lack of an adult beginner class. Nearly every program I had looked into was largely designed to introduce children to karate around age 5, then stream them along the various programs as they grew up into adult blackbelts. It seemed there were few options for the grandparents of those same children to begin.

Victory Karate has entry levels for all ages: 3-4 years, 5-7 years, 8-12 years, teens and adults, as well as a few all-skate sessions which mix age groups. I started the adult beginners on Mondays & Thursdays. It's primarily kenpo karate (as opposed to, say, shotokan, goju-ryu, shito-ryu, etc.) with elements of taekwondo and krav maga. Fees are $150/month, charged automatically to my credit card.

I've come to like the routine & light formality of the class. One arrives, puts away the coat & shoes, dons one's belt, collects one's attendance card (each card is collected by the sensei at the beginning of the class where attendance & other comments are made), bows to the dojo, then either stretch or meditate along the side if one is early, or take one's spot on the floor if the class is immediately beginning. The first half or so of each class is a warm-up cardio or stretching, or both. When ready, we delve into the topic of the day as determined by Mr A (Sensei Ibrahim Abdallah): kicks, punches, stances, grappling (and combinations of these), kata, sparring, etc..

Thanks to much weightlifting over the past few years, I have vastly more upper body strength than others in my class. Actually, more than anyone else I've met there. Not that this strength is particularly useful in karate --no strong arms or chest will preserve you from a brutally hard round kick to the head or a back kick to the stomach--, but it lets me generally absorb more sparring hits, make stronger punches, and resist grappling. The biggest advantage is more mundane: I can do the full complement of warm-up push-ups without ending so drained that I stumble through the rest of the class.

Our class has varied from a half-dozen to 15 at any given session. Until recently, I was the newbiest of the newbies: I was the only white belt in a sea of yellow & orange, as well as a few blackbelts who tag along for fun and assist in instruction.

(NB: Beginner levels are white, yellow, gold & orange (green for teens), intermediate is green, blue & purple, and advanced is red, brown & black (blue, purple for teens).

In early December, I graduated up a level to a yellow belt. I have memorized the first three katas, can perform a required series of punches, blocks & kicks without embarrassing myself, and am greatly enjoying myself.

For some extra challenge, I've added the kickboxing class early on Saturday mornings and stay after the Monday class for Mr Tony's taekwondo training. The kickboxing is more like zumba class composed of kicking: we're not boxing each other, but Mr A puts on the house dance music and leads us through a series of high cardio kicking sessions. Imagine lining up on a floor with three kick targets: Each person is to perform one particular kick on the first target, a different one on the second, and yet another on the third, then circle around to the back of the line. In mid-cycle, Mr A might change the target order or the kick to be performed, or right-hand vs left-hand, constantly keeping us on our toes. It's really enormous fun and even more of a cardio workout than the regular karate class.

The taekwondo class is fascinating, mostly because I'm such a newbie that everything is novel to me. It's much more about blocking & grappling than karate has been so far. I've only attended a few classes so far because of scheduling conflicts and the xmas break, but will report more as it happens.

Problems? There are occasional injuries: abrasions on my right forearm from the sparring gloves, the top of my right foot from repeated round kicks, a pulled muscle in my right calf from hopping on one leg & landing badly. Nothing serious. I'm much more flexible than I used to be, but at this point, there is no way I can kick higher than chest-level, and even that lacks any elegance. While that is adequate for defense and my training, I'd really like to be able to kick at head-level with control & smoothness.

What is my plan for 2018? I've been reading a great deal about karate, the history, the physics & biomechanics, and performance guides. I was given a punch & kick target for xmas this week, although I have yet to clear out a space in the basement where I can use it. I need to kick higher: I think this will be a combination of stretching (insert wide-stance joke here) and strengthening my core so that I can pull my knee up to chest level in isolation. I'm exactly how I'm going to get there, but I will start by asking Mr A for advice.

Presuming I can successfully graduate to a new belt level with each exam session in 2018, I hope to end the coming year in the intermediate level as a green belt.

This past Monday, my karate class of beginners were tested for possible promotion to the next belt level. There were four yellow belts testing for red, and me testing for yellow.

TL;DR version: I passed.

The testing wasn't at all what I was expecting, but I did manage to pass. Still, if I had known more, I could have been a bit more elegant about it.

I had thought each of us would be tested individually rather than as a group, but there were few enough students and more than enough current black belts present to assist with evaluations, each panelist was assigned a student to observe, then we were as a group lead through the motions:
- face left
- jab & cross jab
- face right & repeat
- face left
- step towards the 'target', then jab & cross jab
- face right & repeat
- face left
- back fist
- face right & repeat...
And so on with rolling back fist, front kick, side kick, round kick & back kick.

In the next block, I knew we would also be walked through the individual kicks: front, side, round, and back kick. But I didn't realized that these would be done stepwise rather than just a simple kick demonstration. For example, a side kick is a four part action: raise knee & pivot foot, extend foot to strike, retract foot, put foot down. I wasn't expecting a full pause between each part, and that requires pretty good balance. Needless to say, my balance wasn't up to it in this relatively novel fashion, even if I could do all of this very well at full speed. Oops. Well, that's something for me to practice.

I knew as well we would be walking through the second kata, "ni ban". I have both ichi and ni down cold so that wasn't offputting to me at all, except that sensei called it by number for the group and we had to remain synchronized. I was running on adrenaline and practiced motion so I had enormous difficulty running slowly enough to match everyone, and making sure I paused at each interval to wait for the next numbered call (1 to 20). I did the kata flawlessly, but my part of the presentation was less than pleasant. If I had performed this on my own, I would have performed vastly better.

Still, what I did was good enough for a pass. If I was the instructor, I would have recommended that I re-test at Thursday's class and consider the Monday event a dress rehearsal. But they let me through on this one, and I have my mental notes (and this entry) to remind myself about what to expect the next time.

There was one last part which was purely ceremonial but the most nerve-racking: breaking a board. While I have kicked solid targets with great force, I've never tried breaking a board. Hell, I've never even held one to determine its weight or strength: I was in uncharted territory, and with the entire class watching. Good times.

Get into position, chose whether I'm going to do a right-hand side kick or a left-hand side kick (I chose RH), deep breath, focus on the target, and strike! And of course, the board broke cleanly as everyone but me knew it would.

Now I know that the wood plank is very dry and lightweight with an obvious grain, a square eight inches on each side. I'm sure I could have split it in two with my bare hands. And of course, Sensei held it with the grain horizontal so that the side of my foot would have maximum effect. I didn't know any of this at the time, but of course, I was the only one in the room who had not done this before so I was the only one concerned.

The board breaking was merely ceremonial, but it was fun and I'm keeping the broken board as a momento, along with my white belt and its two stripes. And now I begin another three month cycle of classes, and a journey towards a red belt.

Last Thursday, I was awarded my second strip on my white belt. Yay!

I was also informed I'm eligible to test for graduation to a yellow belt the week of Nov 27-Dec 1. There's a clause in the graduation form which requires the approval of parents, noting that their would-be grad has had steady academic achievement and good overall behavior. I suspect I would not get my parents' approval unless I promised to fly home for xmas. Good thing I'm not asking them. :-)

The graduation registration form is also the evaluation form, so I can see grades of "wait," "good," and "excellent" for the following criteria:

• Count kicks
  
• Basics
  
• Form
  
• Self Defense
  
• Sparring
  
• Breaking

I like the lack of a "fail" state: one simply keeps trying until one passes. Personally, I'd also add a "not applicable" criteria so that some criteria may be left off for levels where that may not apply (eg. beginners at white belt where basics & form are vastly more important than sparring & breaking).

At this point, I'm feeling pretty confident in all categories. The bar is set pretty low for us mere white belts anyway, and I've worked pretty hard on getting my fundamentals (kihon) in place. And generally not embarrassing myself or my family name.

In other news, I skipped the gym this past Saturday morning for an extra karate session. I had done a heavy chest workout the prior morning so a rest day was in order, and I had never previously attended the Saturday any-level adult session at 8:50am.

Arriving early to warm up, I saw the end of the kickboxing class which had started at 8. And it looks incredibly fun. The next time I have a Saturday free, I'm going to try both sessions.

I'm just back from tonight's karate class. I ache. Horribly. So much stretching, so much pain. At least the walk home give me time to cool off and stretch. Still, ow.

It is tremendous fun though. And I have vastly more flexibility than I did when I started over a month ago. And I've lost 10 lbs in that same time.

Now to seek water. And food. And perhaps Aleve. Then sleep.

OMG, I hurt. Like, I'm going to swallow an entire bottle of Alleve with a vodka chaser kind of hurt. But it was fun!

I had my second karate class tonight. As before, it began with a lot of stretching to warm up. And then it really got into leg stretching, the kind I haven't been able to do in 45 years or so. My upper body is very flexible, but the kind of lifts & extensions required of my lower half far exceeds my current abilities. But damn it, I'm going to try!

We also did some non-contact sparring, a lot of punches, a front kick, a side kick and an arching back kick. Extensively. This part wasn't painful except to my ego: my balance isn't great and I need more careful deliberate practice to get the precise form internalized.

There were some nice compliments about how I was keeping up, and some surprise it was only my second class. I'm sure they're being kind, but in some ways I am doing better than others. My weightlifting has trained me to ensure I have a very solid footing and maintain a low center of gravity. My upper body strength can generate a damn wicked punch. Lifting and cardio have given me good endurance.

All that said, my ass was solidly kicked (metaphorically) tonight. I was sweating profusely, overheating and nearly gasping for oxygen by the end. Of course, that's what a good workout is suppose to do, so victory is mine!

My self-assigned homework is to keep stretching so I can lift my knees higher, aim my side & rear kicks higher and bend my upper body lower. I will also need to rehearse each of the kicks we covered to improve my form.

OCD superpowers, activate!