Square Dance Etiquette Question

[bjarvis]

A relatively new square dancer asked me the following question tonight:
How do you politely deal with someone who wishes to be your dance partner but makes you exceedingly uncomfortable?

I suggested pre-emptively ensuring you have a partner already arranged for the upcoming tip but this ducks the issue rather than dealing with it. Likewise choosing to sit out a tip rather than dance with the objectionable party is inadequate: one shouldn't have to sacrifice one's own participation in an event just because of one individual.

Thoughts?

Comments

[madknits.livejournal.com]

A simple, "No, thank you," has worked for me in the past. Or I sit one out (I'm talking contras, not squares, but the philosophy is the same).

We used to have a creepy straight guy who would sometimes come to our queer contras. He was my opposite at one point, and was in the follower's role. During a swing, he refused to hold his own weight (he is a very experienced dancer and knows all about holding his own weight). I said, "Next time you do that, I'm going to let you go." During the next pass of the dance, we again had to swing, he didn't hold his weight, and gave me a smile that was supposed to put me in my place. I grinned back at him, and let go. He went flying across the dance floor. He held his own weight for the rest of the evening, and hasn't been back since.

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

Oooo, I wish I had been there to witness that! :-)

[paigemom.livejournal.com]

Me too! Way to go P2W!!!!!

I hate hate hate experienced dancers who, for whatever reasons, treat others like shit. I've had people do that to me. Since I am not the stereotypical stick-figure female 20-something contra dancer, many people assume I can't dance and that I don't somehow deserve the basic courtesy they'd extend "one of their own."

Pisses me off.

[ebearboston.livejournal.com]

20 something contra dancer? Lord, most dancers I know are twice that!

[paigemom.livejournal.com]

Me too, but not the popular ones at Glen Echo on Friday nights in DC :P

[rsc.livejournal.com]

At least.