Square Dance Etiquette Question

[bjarvis]

A relatively new square dancer asked me the following question tonight:
How do you politely deal with someone who wishes to be your dance partner but makes you exceedingly uncomfortable?

I suggested pre-emptively ensuring you have a partner already arranged for the upcoming tip but this ducks the issue rather than dealing with it. Likewise choosing to sit out a tip rather than dance with the objectionable party is inadequate: one shouldn't have to sacrifice one's own participation in an event just because of one individual.

Thoughts?

Comments

[allanh.livejournal.com]

We had someone like this in one of my square dance clubs.

Larry & I called him "The Mass Murderer." He looked precisely like the classic movie stereotype of a nerd who works at the post office, and one day just SNAP!s and takes an AK-47 to everyone in sight.

He wasn't terribly pleasant to dance with, either as a partner or in a square. He wasn't rude ... he was just creepy. Didn't talk a lot, and the few times he did, I went back to wishing he wouldn't talk at all.

The only way I can think of to deal with this is to ensure you have a partner already arranged for the next tip. Many dancers in the Bay Area make it a practice to arrange square-up partners at least one tip in advance, precisely to avoid this type of situation. "Oh, I'm so sorry ... I'd already promised this dance to _____. Thanks for asking!"

Any other response I can think of would be rude at best.

But I'm looking forward to seeing what suggestions other people have...

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

Now that you mention it, I can think of one person I've encountered over the years who was like your "Mass Murderer." He was unfailingly polite and an adequate dancer, but there was something about him that set off alarm bells in my head. Loudly. If I couldn't avoid dancing with him, I always felt compelled to go wash my hands immediately after.

If he was at an event, I always lined up a partner in advance to avoid him. Of course, that didn't guarantee he wouldn't be my corner, but it was the best I could do.

[trawnapanda.livejournal.com]

If [undesired person] was at an event, I always lined up a partner in advance to avoid him. Of course, that didn't guarantee he wouldn't be my corner, but it was the best I could do.

You see? you DO know what the polite thing to do is.