You've Been Warned
Dec. 27th, 2013 10:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bjarvisI don't really get the whole xmas tree decorating thing.
I know many people love to go stalk & kill their own tree in the wild. Some go to an urban lot and purchase their pre-killed vicitim from the local pusher. Others have fake/taxidermied trees in their attic. I just don't really get it.
I suspect a large part comes from my childhood in northern Ontario. I mean, I grew up surrounded by the damn things. LIke 10-million-of-them-for-every-one-of-us surrounded. And they're not all friendly either. Ever fallen from one? Ever had one of them fall on you? Ever had one leap in front of your car while you were soberly driving home from the no-there-wasn't-any-drinking party at night totally sober? Not friendly at all.
They're coniferous triffids. And that one you have in your living room is its advanced scout for their ultimate takeover.
Sure, you've cut off at the base, but it takes a lot more than that to disable these killers. And you dressed it up in drag: that really makes them angry. Let me say this again for those of you not keeping up: You have a wounded & pissed off tree IN YOUR HOUSE.
God help you when its friends arrive to rescue it. You've been warned.
I know many people love to go stalk & kill their own tree in the wild. Some go to an urban lot and purchase their pre-killed vicitim from the local pusher. Others have fake/taxidermied trees in their attic. I just don't really get it.
I suspect a large part comes from my childhood in northern Ontario. I mean, I grew up surrounded by the damn things. LIke 10-million-of-them-for-every-one-of-us surrounded. And they're not all friendly either. Ever fallen from one? Ever had one of them fall on you? Ever had one leap in front of your car while you were soberly driving home from the no-there-wasn't-any-drinking party at night totally sober? Not friendly at all.
They're coniferous triffids. And that one you have in your living room is its advanced scout for their ultimate takeover.
Sure, you've cut off at the base, but it takes a lot more than that to disable these killers. And you dressed it up in drag: that really makes them angry. Let me say this again for those of you not keeping up: You have a wounded & pissed off tree IN YOUR HOUSE.
God help you when its friends arrive to rescue it. You've been warned.
no subject
Date: 2013-12-29 01:45 am (UTC)