You've Been Warned

[bjarvis]

I don't really get the whole xmas tree decorating thing.

I know many people love to go stalk & kill their own tree in the wild. Some go to an urban lot and purchase their pre-killed vicitim from the local pusher. Others have fake/taxidermied trees in their attic. I just don't really get it.

I suspect a large part comes from my childhood in northern Ontario. I mean, I grew up surrounded by the damn things. LIke 10-million-of-them-for-every-one-of-us surrounded. And they're not all friendly either. Ever fallen from one? Ever had one of them fall on you? Ever had one leap in front of your car while you were soberly driving home from the no-there-wasn't-any-drinking party at night totally sober? Not friendly at all.

They're coniferous triffids. And that one you have in your living room is its advanced scout for their ultimate takeover.

Sure, you've cut off at the base, but it takes a lot more than that to disable these killers. And you dressed it up in drag: that really makes them angry. Let me say this again for those of you not keeping up: You have a wounded & pissed off tree IN YOUR HOUSE.

God help you when its friends arrive to rescue it. You've been warned.

Comments

[vasilatos]

i grew up on a small farm in Maine, and we'd often catch people poaching trees off our land ; they seemed to think it was free to just wander on and take our douglas firs

[bootedintexas.livejournal.com]

Very clever...good to know you arent just a handsome computer geek...there are other values ;)

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

I love Christmas trees, and the tradition of decorating it goes back centuries to the early Pagans of Germany when they'd do a solstice celebration by decorating a forest tree - in the forest. It evolved from there, by first being cut, then dragged into the town square for the celebration and people would come out of their houses for the celebration. It would take a long time before it moved indoors and eventually to what we now know today as the Christmas tree.

What I think is the problem with trees falling off of vehicles are the dummies whom bought it didn't tie it down properly.

I love a well decorated Christmas tree. :-)

[rsc.livejournal.com]

Apparently they are very patient... we've survived for several decades of tree-murder (well, as accessories after the fact, anyway) with nary a hint of an invasion, unless you count the needles that seem to lurk in the walls and make sudden appearances on the floors long after we've cleaned them all up.

[zipperbear]

Well, there's still the occasional going-up-in-flames, taking the whole house along with it. Back in the days of candles, there must not have been any cat videos to give them ideas.

[weekilter.livejournal.com]

Wasn't this a plot for a major motion picture produced in Canada by Alliance Films?