A Suggestion to My Colleagues

[bjarvis]

If you're going to join a conference call while telecommuting from home, you may wish to consider muting your telephone while waiting for the meeting to start. While your fight with your wife was mildly entertaining in a slow-moving-train-wreck kind of way, it's not how I'd like to start my morning, especially since I was keen on neither the meeting nor the morning already.

Thank you.

Comments

[manley1.livejournal.com]

Awkward....

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

Yeah. What is the right etiquette?

Ideally, you'd want to tell them immediately, but who knew they'd be launching into a fight?

Once they've started, we could tell them they're not on mute. Alas, they've not been on mute for some time which means they'll suddenly realize we've been listening for some time.

If I was more clever, I would have dropped off the line, then re-joined making a big production of just arriving and immediately noting to the maritally-challenged that they're not on mute. Alas, I thought of that a half-hour too late.

My inclination is to pretend nothing happened. A proper gentleman does not notice or hear certain things --or so I am assured since I'm hardly a proper gentleman.

[moofedct.livejournal.com]

Improper gentleman perhaps?

[snowboardjoe.livejournal.com]

Heh, that was funny. :)

People forget how noisy a cell phone can be on a conference call. Even if they have it muted, it can still generate a lot of noise if it's getting a crappy signal.

Next time just join in and offer some advice.

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

I was tempted...

"Bob, why don't you knock off early this afternoon to pick up the kids at day care while Sue worries about the arrangements with the in-laws for the weekend? Everybody wins that way."

-or-

"Hey Bob! Remember that your employee benefits includes marriage counselling! Let me look up the number for you..."

-or-

"OK, I'll go pick up your kids. Just give me their names, ages, which rec center and what time to be there. Just shut up already!"

[chrishansenhome.livejournal.com]

I once called an accountant contact of mine here who does US taxes for expats in order to get some advice and ensure that his contact information hadn't changed. He was courteous, but was yelling things to his wife in the background, and finally he excused himself and asked whether he could call me back.

When he did, several days later, he said that his wife was in the process of leaving him and moving out at the exact time I called. I commiserated.

[paigemom.livejournal.com]

I think this one takes the prize!

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

Whoa! THAT is very sad!

[madknits.livejournal.com]

Or they could have been making billing and cooing sounds at each other. Honey Pie. Pumpkin Wumpkin. Sugar Lips. Macho Man. Motor Hips.

Or one could have had a hand in the other's crotch. Oooh, baby, yeah, like that. Ooooh honey!

My motto has ever been "a closed mouth catches no wee beasties."

[bearinslc.livejournal.com]

and was the following phrase used?

"and I TOLD you that I DON'T wand you to use your TONGUE when your going down on me"

Cause that would be way awkward.

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

hehe...

Yeah, not the best thing to be hearing on a not so great a morning I'm sure but I bet it gives you some decent perspective of where other relationships may be standing in comparison to yours, which sounds like in this case, doesn't sound all that good. :-)

too many parties to the conference call

[trawnapanda.livejournal.com]

A proper gentleman does not notice or hear certain things

well of course he doesn't. Miss Manners talks about only mentioning things that can be immediately fixed (the spinach-on-the-tooth rule: so tell someone whose fly is undone, but don't point out that someone's tie has a spot on it, because he can't fix that right now, and will go around the rest of the day feeling awkward as The Man With The Spot On His Tie). Getting spousal equivalent to shuttup is fixable, but perhaps not actually stating that his wife is a little shrill for the teleconference.

Miss Manners offers another similar situation:

Dear Miss Manners: The other day a friend phoned me (I did not call her) and then proceded to eat a carrot throughout the conversation. The pops and snaps and crunching chewing noises were louder than her speech. What could I have said?

Gentle Reader: You should approach this obliquely: "We appear to have a bad connection. Would you mind calling me back? There seems to be a carrot on the line."

Of course, everyone can think that up half an hour after the conversation, the trick is coming up with the comments at the time.

Re: too many parties to the conference call

[kent4str.livejournal.com]

Somewhere at home I've got a Miss Manners I clipped from the mid-eighties where someone actually asked about the etiquette appropriate to when you meet someone, say, at a party, with whom you've had anonymous sex, say in a bathroom or a public park.

Miss Manner's reply was, "You obviously don't understand the importance of a proper introduction."

Love her.

As for this morning's phone issue, I would probably have just not said anything, all the while really, really wanting to chime in on the discussion.

[rsc.livejournal.com]

Well, given what you've reported about your work situation recently, I guess you take your entertainment where you can find it.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

I'm waiting for the day when we all have video conferencing and someone forgets to turn off his input when he's masturbating through the whole meeting. ;-)

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

I want an office video conferencing system which allows me to change the backdrop behind me. I'll select a scene which fits my mood or opinion on the utility of the meeting: perhaps a beach, perhaps the D-Day landing, perhaps Godzilla flattening Tokyo, perhaps something from "Kill Bill". Just don't accidentally mix in the pr0n snippets...

[moofedct.livejournal.com]

Mood backgrounds! Changes on the fly!

[jss]

Mix in the pr0n snippets intentionally!