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Must... Destroy... Xmas
Dec. 23rd, 2011 04:41 pmMy stress level has been reaching into new heights this December, more or less as expected.
The obligatory fake holiday cheer demanded by social associations is an enormous personal drain of energy. I'm trying very hard not to be excessively obnoxious, but even that requires drawing on reserves I no longer have.
Nearly all of my usual outlets for stress and mechanisms for recharging are blocked or impossible thanks to the holidays. The friends I'd like to visit are travelling elsewhere. The small scale events I'd regularly attend are shut down until after new year's. Even if I can get out of the house, the traffic is bat-shit insane and every restaurant & mall is packed to the gills.
I'd love to get some work done --my to-do list is just as long as ever-- but so many co-workers have left on holidays with their items half-done that my tasklist is blocked by dependencies. Outstanding work items raise my stress level so it's not helping my overall situation.
And this morning, the furnace refused to work. We're waiting for a service call right now.
I could go on with a litany of other stressors, but in summary, my anxiety levels are sky-high and my normal means of relaxation are nearly non-existent. My only outlet --aren't you glad?-- is being able to externalize a portion of the stress by writing about it here. Thank you, dear readers, for listening because venting online is all I have left short of sedatives and/or alcohol for the next four days or so.
I'm thinking of asking my medical insurer if they'd cover a medically induced coma for, say, now until December 27 but I think they'd call it an elective procedure and refuse coverage. Bastards.
The obligatory fake holiday cheer demanded by social associations is an enormous personal drain of energy. I'm trying very hard not to be excessively obnoxious, but even that requires drawing on reserves I no longer have.
Nearly all of my usual outlets for stress and mechanisms for recharging are blocked or impossible thanks to the holidays. The friends I'd like to visit are travelling elsewhere. The small scale events I'd regularly attend are shut down until after new year's. Even if I can get out of the house, the traffic is bat-shit insane and every restaurant & mall is packed to the gills.
I'd love to get some work done --my to-do list is just as long as ever-- but so many co-workers have left on holidays with their items half-done that my tasklist is blocked by dependencies. Outstanding work items raise my stress level so it's not helping my overall situation.
And this morning, the furnace refused to work. We're waiting for a service call right now.
I could go on with a litany of other stressors, but in summary, my anxiety levels are sky-high and my normal means of relaxation are nearly non-existent. My only outlet --aren't you glad?-- is being able to externalize a portion of the stress by writing about it here. Thank you, dear readers, for listening because venting online is all I have left short of sedatives and/or alcohol for the next four days or so.
I'm thinking of asking my medical insurer if they'd cover a medically induced coma for, say, now until December 27 but I think they'd call it an elective procedure and refuse coverage. Bastards.
