Hell's Suggestion Box

[bjarvis]

IMHO, Dante had it right: there are varying levels of hellfire waiting for people who transgress particular rules. However, I believe his list of sins was somewhat incomplete. In no particular order then I offer a few entries in bjarvis's New! Improved! Expanded! version of hell.

In this new version, there are places specifically reserved for people who:

1. leave their cell phones on in theatres, cinemas, etc.
   
2. chat in line with their friends at the sales counter, then take five minutes to decide what to order when it is finally their turn at the front of the line;
   
3. have their ipods, walkmen, etc. turned up so loud that despite using earphones, I can name that tune 20 feet away on a crowded & noisy subway car;
   
4. forward chain letters;
   
5. forward dire warnings in e-mail without checking to see if they're hoaxes first;
   
6. send spam;
   
7. park in handicapped spaces who aren't handicapped in any way;
   
8. park in the road/firelane/entrance/exit rather than in the parking lot proper 20 feet away because "they're only running into the store for just a minute";
   
9. stand in the subway doors, blocking riders from entering or exiting;
   
10. stand on the left side of the escalator;
    
11. talk over another speaker, then ask the speaker to repeat themselves because they missed it all;
    
12. call for a meeting, but then show up late --if at all.
    

Got more to add? Leave me a comment!

Comments

Lemmings

[(Anonymous)]

People that rigidly adhere to forming perpendicular lines.

Examples:

At the ATM, even though the sidewalk is crowded with pedestrians, this person (and persons behind this person) will join the line such that the line goes directly across the flow of traffic. I once even had someone walk up and stand where this person believed the line should have been (even though I had already gotten the line to wend its way alone the side of the bank, out of the flow of traffic). When I pointed out that the line went along the side of the building, this person scolded me and said, "No, that is not the line. This is where the line goes."

And, even though 9 of us were clearly in line along the side of the bank, others began to get in line behind this person and extend the line across traffic, ignoring the rest of us. A brouhaha almost erupted as said person tried to approach the ATM as the next person in line until all 9 of us unified to block him.

Similar lines form in supermarkets where those still shopping are blocked by checkout lines extending back into the aisles.

After having purchased tickets to a popular movie, the line doesn't go perpendicular out into the street. That people can't transfer knowledge to similar situations ...

Lemmings ...

--Inspiritor--