Hell's Suggestion Box

[bjarvis]

IMHO, Dante had it right: there are varying levels of hellfire waiting for people who transgress particular rules. However, I believe his list of sins was somewhat incomplete. In no particular order then I offer a few entries in bjarvis's New! Improved! Expanded! version of hell.

In this new version, there are places specifically reserved for people who:

1. leave their cell phones on in theatres, cinemas, etc.
   
2. chat in line with their friends at the sales counter, then take five minutes to decide what to order when it is finally their turn at the front of the line;
   
3. have their ipods, walkmen, etc. turned up so loud that despite using earphones, I can name that tune 20 feet away on a crowded & noisy subway car;
   
4. forward chain letters;
   
5. forward dire warnings in e-mail without checking to see if they're hoaxes first;
   
6. send spam;
   
7. park in handicapped spaces who aren't handicapped in any way;
   
8. park in the road/firelane/entrance/exit rather than in the parking lot proper 20 feet away because "they're only running into the store for just a minute";
   
9. stand in the subway doors, blocking riders from entering or exiting;
   
10. stand on the left side of the escalator;
    
11. talk over another speaker, then ask the speaker to repeat themselves because they missed it all;
    
12. call for a meeting, but then show up late --if at all.
    

Got more to add? Leave me a comment!

Comments

[beartalon.livejournal.com]

Going out with a small group (5 or less) of close friends but one is text-messaging on a cell phone to someone the others of the group do not know and being upset when we interrupt or make decisions without his input.

This was especially in context. I was visiting a friend and another was coming. We hadn't seen each other in more than 2 months. She was an hour late, then spent almost 20 minutes interrupting her own conversation with us to have her converation with her fling (which didn't start until she was just outside the host's door). We finally said "No phone or go home."

[dendren.livejournal.com]

oooooooooh... I *hate* this. I have friends that spend more time texting (or worse the one with a mini windows set up) than talking to the group. It's SO annoying.

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

I so want a cell phone jammer. I want to block text messages, make drivers hang up & drive, etc.

Truthfully, I really want the power of life & death over the morons of the world, but I'm willing to start small.