With my eyes on the horizon
Mar. 2nd, 2006 01:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bjarvisI haven't written much in the past few days, largely because it seems a pointless exercise to say nothing particularly unusual happened. I am writing today, not that anything out of the ordinary has occurred, but because of a gradual accumulation of a single event which has crossed the threshold to noteworthiness.
For as long as I can remember, my day-to-day activities usually include a large number of activities, outings & functions which require mental gymnastics or indirectly cause minor levels of stress. The stress part is typically offset by a wide margin by the good taken from these events, but it is occurs nonetheless. Family stress and financial pressure is omnipresent, a low grade white noise which permeates my waking hours: again, it is easily manageable but it prevents me from feeling the periodic zen-like bliss of pure emotional tranquility.
Thus, my singular event which is worthy of writing today: for the past 48 hours or so, I have enjoyed a uninterrupted stretch of nearly complete calm, a pleasant emotional flat-lining. No stress, no angst, no worry, no drama. Just being. Even my 30 mile driving commute each way between home & work has left me utterly unruffled.
This detachment will no doubt be temporary but I am putting it to good use. Moments like this are invaluable to me for evaluating my past actions, assessing my values and selecting & planning the achievement of personal goals. I'll probably itemize these in a subsequent post.
There is still much to do at the office and at home, but the rest of today will be spent appreciating the value of tranquility.
For as long as I can remember, my day-to-day activities usually include a large number of activities, outings & functions which require mental gymnastics or indirectly cause minor levels of stress. The stress part is typically offset by a wide margin by the good taken from these events, but it is occurs nonetheless. Family stress and financial pressure is omnipresent, a low grade white noise which permeates my waking hours: again, it is easily manageable but it prevents me from feeling the periodic zen-like bliss of pure emotional tranquility.
Thus, my singular event which is worthy of writing today: for the past 48 hours or so, I have enjoyed a uninterrupted stretch of nearly complete calm, a pleasant emotional flat-lining. No stress, no angst, no worry, no drama. Just being. Even my 30 mile driving commute each way between home & work has left me utterly unruffled.
This detachment will no doubt be temporary but I am putting it to good use. Moments like this are invaluable to me for evaluating my past actions, assessing my values and selecting & planning the achievement of personal goals. I'll probably itemize these in a subsequent post.
There is still much to do at the office and at home, but the rest of today will be spent appreciating the value of tranquility.
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no subject
Date: 2006-03-02 07:30 pm (UTC)Been kinda hard to get into that state when the white noise of lack of income/work is so loud it's a roaring mess in my head. :-(
That and stumbling onto a lovely feller to share that angst with wouldn't hurt either. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-02 07:44 pm (UTC)Unemployment would turn me into either a raving lunatic or at least an exceedingly eccentric hermit. You're handling it with better grace than I would.
From what I've read, you're definitely well focused on seeking employment... let's hope a hot guy comes into your life too!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-02 07:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-02 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-02 11:36 pm (UTC)And all without medication! :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-03 05:26 am (UTC)[and later] And all without medication! :-)
Exsqueeze me? whaddya mean, "without medication"??
on Toozday, you gleefully report that five boxes of Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies have arrived.
On Thursday, you talk about the previous 48hr being blissfully calm.
I realise that correlation is not causation, but I think GSTMCs count as medication (OK, so they're over-the-counter, not prescription meds). But they seem to be working.
Enjoy! order more boxes!