And We Turned Out Just Fine!

[bjarvis]

Every now and again, I see a posting on LJ, Facebook or some such thing about how we did stupid things when we were kids. Kid stuff like skate boarding without helmuts, biking along major highways, throwing lawn darts at each other, exploring obviously dangerous areas, operating heavy equpiment beyond our skill to manage. And we did it without parental supervision, without safety gear and without extraneous regulations.

The saying goes something like: "See all the stupid things we did back then? And we all turned out pretty well! Who needs this nanny state/safety crap?!"

But not all of us turned out pretty well. Some of us didn't live long enough to turn out well.

When I see these postings, my mind drifts back to the Brentha Cemetary, a small civic cemetary near where I grew up. Some day I will be buried there. I knew most of the people buried there, and a significant number of them were kids when they died. We went to the same elementary school, we rode the same school buses.

When I see postings scoffing at the "obvious" absurdity of common sense safety precautions, I think of Jeffrey, Donnie, Terry, Gord, Brian, Matthew, Ron and several others. Most died before they were ten years of age, none to age 16. I won't bother you with a list of the ones I lost in high school.

I survived, partly because of dumb luck but largely because of safety-conscious parents. Regulations have become better, equipment is (sometimes) better designed, and fewer risks to children are accepted by society as a whole.

"We turned out pretty well!" is boastful claim made by the living in ignorance of the silent dead.

Comments

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this insightful post!!! Well said, indeed!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I don't view safety precautions as absurd, but those posts haven't had the same effect on me as on you. Though I and the kids I knew did a lot of that same stuff, I knew only one person who died before graduating high school. His was a case of a drug overdose. We lost several more shortly thereafter to drunk driving and drug-related violence. So I wound up with the concept that sure, things like bike helmets were a reasonable idea, but they weren't even remotely related to the things that were actually likely to kill you.

I guess sample size is everything.

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

Life in your part of Ontario must have been cruel and bleak indeed. I'm trying to think back on any kids that died way too young as I was growing up and can't think of a one.

But on a serious note, the things around me that happened that could have caused a quick death were many, but I don't know what safety equipment would have helped.

- At 5, my brother thought it would be fun to jump off a nearby fire station roof with a sheet used as a parachute. Many stitches later and lots of blood, he survived.

- At 9, I was hit in the head with a large rock thrown at me by a friend of said brother. Many stitches later and lots of blood, I survived, but 1/2 inch further away, that rock hit would have likely killed me.

- At 3, my youngest brother in the course of a month, a) fell into a motel swimming pool when none of us were around and was saved by a passing motel guest, and b) wandered into a busy road, nearly being hit by a guy in a car.

- At 10, I was given a penicillin shot for some malady or other, passed out and hit my head on a lino-covered cement floor rather hard. Fun way to find out I'm allergic to penicillin.

- At 14, as my family sat in our car waiting turn right onto a busy highway from a rural road, two boys kept trying to find a gap in the traffic to get across, the cars racing by at 55mph. One boy thought he could do it, but lost. We read in the paper the next day that he had all of his limbs broken, his spine crushed, and had internal injuries, but he lived. I'm still stunned to this day my parents didn't want to get out of the car to help.

I guess the "turned out pretty well" in those cases were that we survived; safety equipment wasn't anything that could have been involved. I certainly don't scoff at safety equipment or common sense, though. Like CJ said, those posts don't affect me the way they do you.