Facial Hair Quandary

[bjarvis]

When DC was buried in snow about two weeks ago, I decided to let my full beard grow back in again. After all, I was going to be isolated from the rest of western civilization for a while so there was plenty of time to let it grow quickly through the scruffy phase to something relatively decent. I had a full beard from February, 1992, to July, 2000; I ultimately trimmed it down to a goatee 'cause that's what all the cool kids were doing as I thought it looked better with my newly buzzed hair, a concession to my rapidly receding and thinning hairline.

One of the little surprises along the way was just how much of my beard is now solid white. Yeah, the chin area still has some dark brown but the sides... well, see below.

	Goatee only 2009-10-19
	Grey beard 2010-02-19

Several people like the full beard but have commented that the full field of grey makes me look old. 'Way old. I'm 43 currently and am in no rush to look 60+ quite yet although I accept the inevitability of it. I'm a little surprised to find out how many of my friends are taking the "Just For Men" option, colouring their fur to reduce the grey without eliminating it entirely.

So, what should I do?

[Poll #1527571]

Comments

[trulygrateful.livejournal.com]

I've always thought you were quite handsome and dashing; seeing you with the beard just made me want to /dev/backrub/ even more.

Oh... did I say that right, O Unix Master?

[i-f-f.livejournal.com]

So, I voted for "something else." I'm a big fan of the Hollywood style beard. Of course, that's probably because I keep my head shaved and I think a beard that goes all the way up to your ears when there's no hair is silly. Anyway, the Hollywood style sort of cuts straight across from one's mouth. In your case that would be right about where things change colour.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

that's me, silly to the core.

[i-f-f.livejournal.com]

Open mouth, insert foot. And if I say, "you make it work," then it just sounds like back-pedaling.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

yuppers

this one will require extensive in-person mollification.

[i-f-f.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm good at mol... oh wait, you said mollification. Hunh... I'm good at that too.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

or maybe mallification ... we can get our nails done together or something ... do something about my silly beard style ...

[bearfuz.livejournal.com]

Palmollification?

Just trying to help.

[trawnapanda.livejournal.com]

no, do not colour it. that inevitably looks fakeroo on men.

speaking as one who has had grey in his beard for twenty years, and is now 80% white at the chin (ie since I was seven years younger than you are now), you can handle the mature look.

do not, under any circumstances, colour it.

you and I have complementary chin issues - mine is like unto joe clark, yours is like unto brian mulroney. in both cases, they NEED a beard to modify them. so no, do NOT shave the whole thing off (or even go down to just a moustache - your upper-lip hair is so blond/white that it often disappears in photographs, eg the user icon on this post)

I'd strongly counsel against colouring your facial hair.

a friend of mine, now 63, had naturally chestnut-brown hair, and had 2-3" hair and full beard when I was dating him back in the 80s. He's now gone mostly grey, and buzzed his hair to 1/4". Facial hair is down to a moustache, which he colours. badly. apparently with black shoe-polish. He looks like Groucho Marx. "softening the grey" has not been kind to him.

did I mention that I think colouring facial hair in any way would be an error?

[discord35.livejournal.com]

I completely agree.

Besides, I think gray hair is hot.

Re: now in handy LJ Icon Size!

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

You are so going to hell. :-)

Re: now in handy LJ Icon Size!

[trawnapanda.livejournal.com]

You are so going to hell.

you SO walked into it!

[canseefour.livejournal.com]

I like the full beard - as long as you keep it trimmed and don't let it get shaggy. Barry had a beard for 20 years. It was black when he grew it, but completely white when he shaved it off. The general consensus at that time was that shaving it off made him look 5-10 years younger. You still have some colour in yours, and a young face to go with it, so I don't think it makes you look older.
Don't colour it - unless you want to spend an inordinate amount of time on it, it'll always look artificial.

[rsc.livejournal.com]

And just what is wrong with looking 60+, hmm?

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

Nothing at all provided on is actually 60+. My choice at the moment would be to look more, oh, 43ish 'cause I am 43.

Alas, my genes apparently have other ideas. Stoopid DNA.

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Dear, I have gray in my chin and I'm only 2 years older than you and I'm not doing a thing to it. I like how it is thankyouverymuch. :-)

Besides, I think your hubbies both have white/gray/silver so why not join in the fun?

[rootbear.livejournal.com]

I strongly feel that a man's facial hair is his business and no one else's. Wear it the way you like best.

[airporter.livejournal.com]

What he said.

fur is better than no fur

[(Anonymous)]

Embrace manhood... graying included.

Embrace manhood

[(Anonymous)]

Tinting a bit is fine - just don't let it look like you've been making out with a can of shoe polish. Jeff M

[bendoutdoors.livejournal.com]

You should wear nothing at all! Oh wait, we're talking facial hair here. I have to disagree with rootbear. You should do what I want. :-)

[pklexton.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. :)

Greetings!

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

I voted that you keep it just as it is now.

The full beard look is good on you.

The gray looks great!

Gray hair means to me that you've been around,
and learned from your experiences.

It's also very dignified!

[whitmanschild.livejournal.com]

Gray is good, but you seem to be looking to mix it up. I say give the color a go and see how you like it.

[guiser1.livejournal.com]

I'd have to taste it first, to be sure.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

I think it's hot as-is, but isn't blondeish close to you natural colouring?

[trawnapanda.livejournal.com]

isn't blondeish close to you natural colouring?

originally bjarvis was sorta mid-brown (when I first met him twenty years back). the bottom-of-the-chin colour (in the non-photoshopped images) here.

right now, in 2010, the photographic evidence is that his natural colouring (as in, what Nature provides) is becoming predominantly white grey.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

yeah that's sorta dark blonde isn't it? I mean as opposed to say red or black it's closer to his hair colour.

[envirobear.livejournal.com]

I think your current look is HAWT!! Keep it as-is.

Many others have said good things here already, but I will add that there's enough crap pushed out there to try to convince everyone that there is no beauty unless it approximates the looks of twenty-somethings. Bullshit. Don't give yourself a complex--your look at age 43 is just as sexy (if not more) as I'm sure it was at age 23. Embrace who you are!

[kent4str.livejournal.com]

You could always ask your husbands...

I like the beard, always have, even though I've missed it for the past ten years. And, since I'm the primary source of the gray, I say wear it proudly.

Then again, look who's talking.

[kent4str.livejournal.com]

...and it has nothing to do with being allergic to your shaving cream. Really!

[frauholla.livejournal.com]

I think it looks good. Blame the grey on your husbands. I blame my grey on Rhomylly and Keely.

[airporter.livejournal.com]

No matter how much you keep, shaggy or trimmed, if you decide to colour it bear in mind you'd be processing it every two to three weeks. Further, you'll have to manage the regrowth very carefully to keep a semblance of natural colour.

(Did it for a while, discovered how quickly it grows, and gave it a miss from there.)

[frick.livejournal.com]

Do whatever makes you happy. As for me, I went with goatee and a touch of tinting; adjustable for any social or political occasion

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

You're very much an 'au natural' kinda guy. If you haven't started coloring yet, you probably shouldn't!

I started colo(u)ring my stache at 43 (how coincidental!), telling myself that when my head hair started graying, I'd let it go.

Oddly, my head hair (at 55 1/2) is STILL dark, but my moustache is nearly pure white. So...

grey is sexy!

[redbearmark.livejournal.com]

but I have the red head twist that my grey is coming in nicely and highlights and delightful contrast.

have you considered a tailback goatee - letting the hair grow further back along the jawline and still shaving some below the sideburns?

DON'T DYE - it is always obvious - to those that know (like me).

Furry hugs and admiration for being secure in your natural gifts - no matter what they might be!

[michaelsylvan.livejournal.com]

Your full beard looks great - men should never mess with hair dye, it always makes them look older in a negative way, if one "must" dye hair it should be done by a professional so it isn't single shaded... I have an increasing amount of gray/white in my beard and am the same age as you - and I also get some of that "it makes you look older" - I don't know if it does - this is the age I am and what my hair is doing. Wish I could still grow hair on my head, but I can't. So I'm buzzed as gracefully as I can be, and I try to keep my beard reasonably groomed