Attention, armchair psychologists!
Aug. 23rd, 2005 09:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bjarvisI had a rather pleasant but odd dream a few nights ago.
I usually don't remember dreams in detail past the early morning. It's rare that I am aware that I'm dreaming while still in the dream itself. And I almost never dream about family members. This time, I had all three.
It began with a scene reminiscent of a 1940s romantic comedy movie: 1940s clothing styles, black & white imagery, orchestral score etc., but it was as though the movie was just wrapping up, heading to the credits. As I watched the male & female leads walk away from me, I turned and entered a room laid out for a wedding reception, the wedding itself still in progress in the chapel next door. At the bar was Ray Jarvis, my grandfather, as I might imagine him appearing in the 1940s. Grandpa died about 15 years ago at around 85 years of age. I hardly knew much about him: Dad's side of the family was always lousy at communication & conversation.
Anyway, Ray was at the bar, recognized me and waved me over. "Have a drink," he said cheerfully, handing me a glass of whiskey.
"I don't drink," I said.
"I know. Must have gotten that from your mother's side of the family. Go ahead, it's a dream... I promise not to tell anyone."
I paused, recognized that it was indeed a dream so I should be able to --poof!-- erase the glass of whiskey and replace it instantly with a glass of water. We toasted and had a sip.
Curiousity got the better of me. "So, what you are doing here, what being dead and all?"
"Your grandmother never let me out to the pub more than a couple of times in the 55 years we were married. She's busy right now, so this seemed like my chance. Besides, you and me never got to talk when I was around so this seemed as good an opportunity as any. I've been catching up on a lot of missed stuff lately and you're kinda sticking out in the crowd of grandkids & great-grandkids these days."
I raised my eyebrows at that one. "Sticking out? How so?"
"Well, I understand you're gay."
"Yeah. Came out around the time you died."
"Pity about the timing. I would have loved to have seen the look on your mother's face. I'm sure it was priceless." We both chuckled... yeah, it was a definite Kodak moment with Mom, but that's another story.
Ray put his drink down and looked directly into my eyes. "That Kent boy of yours seems a nice enough guy. You definitely picked better than a couple of your cousins. There's only one thing bothering me, I just can't figure it out..."
"Mmm?"
"Couldn't you have found a guy in Canada?"
I choked on my water. "Excuse me, old man: your wife came from England!"
"Yes, but I married up."
He laughed aloud at his own wit. I scowled a moment, --poof!-- erasing his whiskey and replacing it with water. To my surprise, Ray winked at me, looked at his glass and turned it back into whiskey again. "Nice try, kiddo... I'm sharing this dream too, ya know. But you learn quick... that's a good thing to have."
"OK, it's my turn," I said, trying to organize my thoughts. "Any advice or messages from the great beyond?"
"None you haven't already figured out. Or heard and ignored. That last one you definitely got from my side." He paused, mulled over the question a moment, and continued slowly: "Plan for your future. Count your change. Be careful of other people's feelings, whether they deserve it or not. Enjoy life. Always listen more than you talk. Number your punched cards." He paused again. "Oh, and pay some extra attention to your sister Terri. Something bad is coming up for her in about six months. I can't see yet what it is, but she'll need you more than anyone else. If I figure it out in time, I'll be in touch. Outside of that, can't think of much else to say."
We both finished our glasses and walked to the door together. We hugged each other, then he walked away from me along the sidewalk. I turned and walked the other way.
It was a rather pleasant dream, one that makes me wish I did believe in a hereafter. I'd like to think I would have gotten on well with my grandfather, and having the extra family blessing on Kent & me wouldn't hurt either.
I usually don't remember dreams in detail past the early morning. It's rare that I am aware that I'm dreaming while still in the dream itself. And I almost never dream about family members. This time, I had all three.
It began with a scene reminiscent of a 1940s romantic comedy movie: 1940s clothing styles, black & white imagery, orchestral score etc., but it was as though the movie was just wrapping up, heading to the credits. As I watched the male & female leads walk away from me, I turned and entered a room laid out for a wedding reception, the wedding itself still in progress in the chapel next door. At the bar was Ray Jarvis, my grandfather, as I might imagine him appearing in the 1940s. Grandpa died about 15 years ago at around 85 years of age. I hardly knew much about him: Dad's side of the family was always lousy at communication & conversation.
Anyway, Ray was at the bar, recognized me and waved me over. "Have a drink," he said cheerfully, handing me a glass of whiskey.
"I don't drink," I said.
"I know. Must have gotten that from your mother's side of the family. Go ahead, it's a dream... I promise not to tell anyone."
I paused, recognized that it was indeed a dream so I should be able to --poof!-- erase the glass of whiskey and replace it instantly with a glass of water. We toasted and had a sip.
Curiousity got the better of me. "So, what you are doing here, what being dead and all?"
"Your grandmother never let me out to the pub more than a couple of times in the 55 years we were married. She's busy right now, so this seemed like my chance. Besides, you and me never got to talk when I was around so this seemed as good an opportunity as any. I've been catching up on a lot of missed stuff lately and you're kinda sticking out in the crowd of grandkids & great-grandkids these days."
I raised my eyebrows at that one. "Sticking out? How so?"
"Well, I understand you're gay."
"Yeah. Came out around the time you died."
"Pity about the timing. I would have loved to have seen the look on your mother's face. I'm sure it was priceless." We both chuckled... yeah, it was a definite Kodak moment with Mom, but that's another story.
Ray put his drink down and looked directly into my eyes. "That Kent boy of yours seems a nice enough guy. You definitely picked better than a couple of your cousins. There's only one thing bothering me, I just can't figure it out..."
"Mmm?"
"Couldn't you have found a guy in Canada?"
I choked on my water. "Excuse me, old man: your wife came from England!"
"Yes, but I married up."
He laughed aloud at his own wit. I scowled a moment, --poof!-- erasing his whiskey and replacing it with water. To my surprise, Ray winked at me, looked at his glass and turned it back into whiskey again. "Nice try, kiddo... I'm sharing this dream too, ya know. But you learn quick... that's a good thing to have."
"OK, it's my turn," I said, trying to organize my thoughts. "Any advice or messages from the great beyond?"
"None you haven't already figured out. Or heard and ignored. That last one you definitely got from my side." He paused, mulled over the question a moment, and continued slowly: "Plan for your future. Count your change. Be careful of other people's feelings, whether they deserve it or not. Enjoy life. Always listen more than you talk. Number your punched cards." He paused again. "Oh, and pay some extra attention to your sister Terri. Something bad is coming up for her in about six months. I can't see yet what it is, but she'll need you more than anyone else. If I figure it out in time, I'll be in touch. Outside of that, can't think of much else to say."
We both finished our glasses and walked to the door together. We hugged each other, then he walked away from me along the sidewalk. I turned and walked the other way.
It was a rather pleasant dream, one that makes me wish I did believe in a hereafter. I'd like to think I would have gotten on well with my grandfather, and having the extra family blessing on Kent & me wouldn't hurt either.
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-25 07:45 pm (UTC)Add to that, this sounds like a "lucid dream" so you were getting that mix of subconscious and conscious thought going and there is actually some cool stuff going on.
One of the things that makes being a graphic designer a good career choice for me (even though I don't really have the temperament for it) is that I take in all the little bits of information that come at me from the outside world, and organize them in little labeled boxes in my brain. Now, on the downside of this, i can often reach conclusions prematurely, but generally, I intuit solutions and reasons far better than most people because I see so many little details. (of course, seeing so many sides of things does have down sides...I don't dare talk about politics since partisan politics are impossible for me since I take in and process both sides of things...I would get sent to a reeducation camp really fast if I ever opened my mouth...and I take in and process the lives of fictional characters as well as real people and problems, so movie drama is really hard on me....and when you see so many details, it is really hard to let go and feel like you haven't missed one...oh, wait, this is supposed to be about you....back to our regularly scheduled armchair analysis...) This all fits together for me beneath the surface and I get the information automatically (usually in the shower or while driving) kind of like those old air tube systems that department stores used to send stuff back and forth in.
You on the other hand are a rational, engineer type, so you trust information that you have compiled in the conscious world. (do you know your myers briggs scores? Just curious.) so while you are apparently processing under the surface similar to what I do (look at the way you -knew- that server change over was going to get screwed up) your subconscious gave you a very straight forward conversation (complete with whiskey to get you loosened up) to deliver a piece of information that it had intuited since just "having a feeling" with no action items attached to it wouldn't have gotten as much attention. (My subconscious would have given me an equally real feeling dream, but done the whole thing in elaborate metaphor. My subconscious is such a drama queen.)
Either that or your dead grandfather was talking to you. That is actually the cooler explanation.
So, have you sent your sister an "I'm glad your my sister" card, just so that when the crisis hits, it gets steered towards someone who already has their catchers mitt on?
no subject
Date: 2005-08-26 01:24 pm (UTC)Yeah, having dead relatives periodically chatting me up would be kinda neat. I'm rather lucky most of my clan --dead or alive-- isn't evil, just a little, well, intellectually understimulated. Sadly & pragmatically, I think my subconscious trying to make itself heard is a more likely scenario.
Nope, haven't sent her a card or such lately as she's on a wilderness excursion (isn't that kinda redundant in Northern Ontario?) related to her forestry classes and won't be in contact with civilization for another week or so (isn't that just as redundant in Northern Ontario?). I'll probably send her an e-mail this weekend so it'll be there when she returns, and will telephone the parental units to see if there's any news/gossip in circulation. It'll be about the usual time for contact with various folks so my casual queries won't raise suspicions or worry.