Cards would make the task a less stressful but Kent & I are not allowed: Sensei Dayle fears we would become too reliant on aids. Instead, we are dropped in the deep end of the pool to figure out how to sink or swim on our own, thus my intimate familiarity with the tiles at the bottom of this particular swimming pool. Dayle is usually standing by on the other mic to rescue us from ourselves if needed but he's also intentionally cut back slightly on the rescues so we can learn how to fix our own mistakes.
This sounds pretty horrible, and it was at first: the pressure and stress were severe for the first few months. Still, we have made considerable progress since then and I'm no longer dreading stress-filled club nights in the same way. Instead of a continuous plateau of terror, I'm now down to occasional-but-spectacular spikes of anxiety (like last Monday & Tuesday).
Visible progress was easy in the first year since we had so far to climb. I'm frustrated now in part from my inability to see meaningful progress in the past couple of months despite considerable time & effort expended. Rationally, this may mean that I'm using inappropriate benchmarks, mismeasuring my own progress, using incorrect vocal techniques, am physically incapable of singing decently, or I'm just not caller material (or any combination of these). So many variables, so little time.
The real bitch of it is that my problem is so damned public. If it were almost anything else, I could do the additional research on my own schedule or shelve the problem long enough to wait for an epiphany with no one the wiser. In this instance, I get to have my foibles & flops aired for display every Tuesday and most Thursdays. Is that excessive ego, concern for the club, dancers & professionalism of the calling, just a mess of other issues or some combination? I suspect I'm too close to the issues involved to rationally analyze the possibilities with accuracy.
Kent might have insights but as long as we sleep in the same bed, it's probably not in his best interests to critique too harshly. :-)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: Make it easier on yourself ...
Date: 2005-08-04 01:26 pm (UTC)This sounds pretty horrible, and it was at first: the pressure and stress were severe for the first few months. Still, we have made considerable progress since then and I'm no longer dreading stress-filled club nights in the same way. Instead of a continuous plateau of terror, I'm now down to occasional-but-spectacular spikes of anxiety (like last Monday & Tuesday).
Visible progress was easy in the first year since we had so far to climb. I'm frustrated now in part from my inability to see meaningful progress in the past couple of months despite considerable time & effort expended. Rationally, this may mean that I'm using inappropriate benchmarks, mismeasuring my own progress, using incorrect vocal techniques, am physically incapable of singing decently, or I'm just not caller material (or any combination of these). So many variables, so little time.
The real bitch of it is that my problem is so damned public. If it were almost anything else, I could do the additional research on my own schedule or shelve the problem long enough to wait for an epiphany with no one the wiser. In this instance, I get to have my foibles & flops aired for display every Tuesday and most Thursdays. Is that excessive ego, concern for the club, dancers & professionalism of the calling, just a mess of other issues or some combination? I suspect I'm too close to the issues involved to rationally analyze the possibilities with accuracy.
Kent might have insights but as long as we sleep in the same bed, it's probably not in his best interests to critique too harshly. :-)