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Death & Dad, Final Update
Jan. 6th, 2019 10:48 pmDad passed away at approximately 12:50am, Sunday, January 6, 2019. It was three days after his 77th birthday.
I spent most of Saturday at the hospital in Kirkland Lake with Mom & Dad. Because of leg pain in the overnight hours, his pain meds were increased earlier. Dad was very groggy, rarely fully awake and was struggling to speak; I presumed it was the medications, but it may be that he was regressing at that moment and we didn't recognize it.
Dad was also struggling to clear his lungs: between coughing spasms, he was gurgling so much it reminded me of a coffee percolator. My concern at that moment was possible pneumonia, or at least ideal conditions for coming down with pneumonia.
After running some minor errands for them, I sat with Mom & Dad from about 3pm to 7pm. Dad never said a word to me because of the exertion required, but he did glance my way, nod & smile. Mom and I had made plans for Sunday --I was going to bring lunch to the hospital around 11am, consult with the doctor, sit for a couple of hours, then we would go to the farm so she could collect the papers she was going to hand over to the card tournament organizers at her Monday meeting. I left the hospital around 7pm, had dinner, then went to my hotel room for the night.
The hospital called at just after 1am to inform me that Dad had died. I immediately dressed and went to the hospital; the staff had already notified the ER that I'd be arriving and going directly to the 4th floor.
Dad was still in his bed, and Mom was sharing stories with two nurses. I sat next to Dad and listened for a half-hour or so. When Mom was ready, we collected her things and Dad's personal items, then we went to the nursing station to sign papers. I went back to the room to see Dad one last time and to say goodbye --I never did have that final conversation as I really thought we had at least a few more days-- and then we went back to my hotel room for the night. I don't think we slept until 3am.
This morning, we checked out of the hotel and we're currently at the farm. We're clearing away some of Dad's items from the dining room table, such as his unused medications & clothing items. I've carried his electric wheelchair to the basement. I imagine we'll do a lot of that in the next day or two.
We had already made an appointment with the Mcdonald Funeral Home in Englehart for 11am Monday to discuss what the next steps would have been. Obviously, we are now making arrangements rather than merely making plans. I should have more to report after that.
Mom is still holding to the no-funeral plan, with a celebration of life at the United Church in Englehart in April. My personal concern was that I wanted to at least have a private viewing; I got that last night at the hospital so I can say at least my personal needs were met. I hope everyone else got what they needed when visiting earlier.
I know we need several copies of the death certificate, and that we need to update the union and insurance companies as quickly as possible; we'll also need to update the government concerning Dad's pension. Eventually, the bank accounts will also have to be cleaned up, but at least Mom is joint on all of those, as well as Angela, I'm told.
I'm still planning to fly out on Thursday from Timmins back to DC but I'm open to rescheduling if needed.
I spent most of Saturday at the hospital in Kirkland Lake with Mom & Dad. Because of leg pain in the overnight hours, his pain meds were increased earlier. Dad was very groggy, rarely fully awake and was struggling to speak; I presumed it was the medications, but it may be that he was regressing at that moment and we didn't recognize it.
Dad was also struggling to clear his lungs: between coughing spasms, he was gurgling so much it reminded me of a coffee percolator. My concern at that moment was possible pneumonia, or at least ideal conditions for coming down with pneumonia.
After running some minor errands for them, I sat with Mom & Dad from about 3pm to 7pm. Dad never said a word to me because of the exertion required, but he did glance my way, nod & smile. Mom and I had made plans for Sunday --I was going to bring lunch to the hospital around 11am, consult with the doctor, sit for a couple of hours, then we would go to the farm so she could collect the papers she was going to hand over to the card tournament organizers at her Monday meeting. I left the hospital around 7pm, had dinner, then went to my hotel room for the night.
The hospital called at just after 1am to inform me that Dad had died. I immediately dressed and went to the hospital; the staff had already notified the ER that I'd be arriving and going directly to the 4th floor.
Dad was still in his bed, and Mom was sharing stories with two nurses. I sat next to Dad and listened for a half-hour or so. When Mom was ready, we collected her things and Dad's personal items, then we went to the nursing station to sign papers. I went back to the room to see Dad one last time and to say goodbye --I never did have that final conversation as I really thought we had at least a few more days-- and then we went back to my hotel room for the night. I don't think we slept until 3am.
This morning, we checked out of the hotel and we're currently at the farm. We're clearing away some of Dad's items from the dining room table, such as his unused medications & clothing items. I've carried his electric wheelchair to the basement. I imagine we'll do a lot of that in the next day or two.
We had already made an appointment with the Mcdonald Funeral Home in Englehart for 11am Monday to discuss what the next steps would have been. Obviously, we are now making arrangements rather than merely making plans. I should have more to report after that.
Mom is still holding to the no-funeral plan, with a celebration of life at the United Church in Englehart in April. My personal concern was that I wanted to at least have a private viewing; I got that last night at the hospital so I can say at least my personal needs were met. I hope everyone else got what they needed when visiting earlier.
I know we need several copies of the death certificate, and that we need to update the union and insurance companies as quickly as possible; we'll also need to update the government concerning Dad's pension. Eventually, the bank accounts will also have to be cleaned up, but at least Mom is joint on all of those, as well as Angela, I'm told.
I'm still planning to fly out on Thursday from Timmins back to DC but I'm open to rescheduling if needed.
