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Close Encounters of the Cringeworthy Kind
Nov. 20th, 2017 06:23 pmI was at the gym for arms day this morning. The place was more crowded than usual: I presume people were squeezing in extra workouts before taking the upcoming long weekend off. The side effect of the number of people there was that there seemed to be lines for damn near everything.
I can be exceptionally patient for some things, but my gym workout isn't one of them. I got myself through the core of my workout plan, then blew off the rest and headed to the showers.
While my workout was done, Michael's timed run was still in progress. That happens regularly so I camped out in the lobby with my mobile phone to catch up on Twitter while he finished.
About ten minutes later, an older guy I've seen around the gym some mornings sat in the next chair. We gave our perfunctory good morning greetings and then resumed minding our own business. Until a guy arrived and came up to the front desk.
I wasn't paying attention as to why or how the older gent ambled up to the newly arrived guy, but they began talking. The younger arrival mentioned he was here to see his wife, whom I recognized as the operations manager of the gym. And that's when things started going weird.
The older guy first complimented them both on being a lovely couple. Then he went on to explain how women were created from Adam's rib, that they were made from the best parts of man and therefore man needs a woman to be as complete as God intended. And that it's the man's role to be supportive & protective, and that women are intrinsically nurturing. That men needed a woman's nurturing. That women's nurturing needs to be returned as well, and that if they can't get that from their man, they'll find that nurturing somewhere else. And that explains lesbianism. And that a woman without a man is a lost sheep who needs to be brought back to the flock. And she needs to be guided and protected by her man. Because Jesus.
This is about the time that my stomach started heaving. Honestly, I've only barfed in one gym before and it was on the west coast: I was 30 seconds away from making it a bi-coastal event.
The worst part is that the operations manager was *standing right there* the entire time while her existence and her entire sex were being mansplained to her & her husband by this complete stranger.
I was about to leave before I made a scene of this situation when Michael arrived, giving me a more graceful exit. I looked back at the ops manager as I left, and silently mouthed "I'm sorry!" to her as we headed out the door. She smirked, and returned to the sermon with resignation.
I know the old guy meant well, and he believes absolutely every word he said, because this is the story told to him by every man who conversed with him about it. I have to wonder if he's ever broached this topic with a woman one-on-one who tried to set him straight, that women have lives of their own that don't need males or their protection: has such a conversation never happened to him, not happened firmly enough to make an impression, or it just didn't take because it's a worldview so apparently alien to his thinking that he dismissed her as crazed or demented? Has he never met a successful woman who happened to be single?
The recent series of sexual harassment scandals lately have left me rather sensitized to the issue. It's attitudes similar to his that have set up this ugly dynamic which is now being dragged into the light. I don't think it was my place at that moment to set him straight, but I'd like to think that if I was in fact part of the conversation, I'd have some things to say about his fractured logic.
I can be exceptionally patient for some things, but my gym workout isn't one of them. I got myself through the core of my workout plan, then blew off the rest and headed to the showers.
While my workout was done, Michael's timed run was still in progress. That happens regularly so I camped out in the lobby with my mobile phone to catch up on Twitter while he finished.
About ten minutes later, an older guy I've seen around the gym some mornings sat in the next chair. We gave our perfunctory good morning greetings and then resumed minding our own business. Until a guy arrived and came up to the front desk.
I wasn't paying attention as to why or how the older gent ambled up to the newly arrived guy, but they began talking. The younger arrival mentioned he was here to see his wife, whom I recognized as the operations manager of the gym. And that's when things started going weird.
The older guy first complimented them both on being a lovely couple. Then he went on to explain how women were created from Adam's rib, that they were made from the best parts of man and therefore man needs a woman to be as complete as God intended. And that it's the man's role to be supportive & protective, and that women are intrinsically nurturing. That men needed a woman's nurturing. That women's nurturing needs to be returned as well, and that if they can't get that from their man, they'll find that nurturing somewhere else. And that explains lesbianism. And that a woman without a man is a lost sheep who needs to be brought back to the flock. And she needs to be guided and protected by her man. Because Jesus.
This is about the time that my stomach started heaving. Honestly, I've only barfed in one gym before and it was on the west coast: I was 30 seconds away from making it a bi-coastal event.
The worst part is that the operations manager was *standing right there* the entire time while her existence and her entire sex were being mansplained to her & her husband by this complete stranger.
I was about to leave before I made a scene of this situation when Michael arrived, giving me a more graceful exit. I looked back at the ops manager as I left, and silently mouthed "I'm sorry!" to her as we headed out the door. She smirked, and returned to the sermon with resignation.
I know the old guy meant well, and he believes absolutely every word he said, because this is the story told to him by every man who conversed with him about it. I have to wonder if he's ever broached this topic with a woman one-on-one who tried to set him straight, that women have lives of their own that don't need males or their protection: has such a conversation never happened to him, not happened firmly enough to make an impression, or it just didn't take because it's a worldview so apparently alien to his thinking that he dismissed her as crazed or demented? Has he never met a successful woman who happened to be single?
The recent series of sexual harassment scandals lately have left me rather sensitized to the issue. It's attitudes similar to his that have set up this ugly dynamic which is now being dragged into the light. I don't think it was my place at that moment to set him straight, but I'd like to think that if I was in fact part of the conversation, I'd have some things to say about his fractured logic.
