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Ah, Toronto!
Oct. 9th, 2017 03:44 pmI flew into Buffalo, NY, last Wednesday to spend a few days in Toronto, ostensibly to see family at Thanksgiving and to ship home some personal items which were stored in my parents' basement until recently. It's been much more than that, of course.
I've walked a lot, seeing the same old sites I usually do when in town. I've frequently said I could walk through this city repeatedly until my feet bleed --and they did. The first full day, I logged well over 10 miles, from Pape & Danforth, west to Yonge & Bloor, south to the lakeshore, east a bit, then back north to Bloor again. It never gets old.
My feet were in severe pain Friday, but I went walking again, Pape & Danforth to Broadview, south to Gerrard, west to the downtown, all directions on various side streets, then south to Queen where I finally caved in and boarded a street car to Carlaw. I walked north back to my place from there.
Here, I feel lighter, faster, smarter, brighter & younger, more than anywhere else I've been except perhaps lower Manhattan. When I'm in Toronto, I really believe the sky is the limit and I can accomplish anything. There are no constraints, or at least nothing meaningful I couldn't overcome with a snap of my fingers. Everything is possible, all things are filled with potential, and nothing is beyond reach. Except returning here to live.
My biological family is in Canada, but my chosen family is in the DC area. Even if I could pry myself out of Silver Spring, I can't bring Kent & Michael back to Toronto. I can't bring the grandkids either. It wouldn't be fair of me to even try.
Whenever I cross the border into Canada no matter which province, I am seized by the feeling that my life in Canada is incomplete, an unfinished project. I don't know what my emotional self wants me to do, but it does distinctly shout that there is something urgent & large awaiting my attention where which has remained undone since I left in 1996. I am in Toronto and loving it, and yet am incomplete because I am in Toronto. I have no explanation.
At the moment, my only plan is to make more frequent trips back to Canada, maybe 3-4 times per year instead of annually. My grandma isnt' getting any younger, my parents are ailing, my aunts & uncles are fading away. There is so little time left before the generation before mine is gone and I must do what I can with the time that is left.
I've walked a lot, seeing the same old sites I usually do when in town. I've frequently said I could walk through this city repeatedly until my feet bleed --and they did. The first full day, I logged well over 10 miles, from Pape & Danforth, west to Yonge & Bloor, south to the lakeshore, east a bit, then back north to Bloor again. It never gets old.
My feet were in severe pain Friday, but I went walking again, Pape & Danforth to Broadview, south to Gerrard, west to the downtown, all directions on various side streets, then south to Queen where I finally caved in and boarded a street car to Carlaw. I walked north back to my place from there.
Here, I feel lighter, faster, smarter, brighter & younger, more than anywhere else I've been except perhaps lower Manhattan. When I'm in Toronto, I really believe the sky is the limit and I can accomplish anything. There are no constraints, or at least nothing meaningful I couldn't overcome with a snap of my fingers. Everything is possible, all things are filled with potential, and nothing is beyond reach. Except returning here to live.
My biological family is in Canada, but my chosen family is in the DC area. Even if I could pry myself out of Silver Spring, I can't bring Kent & Michael back to Toronto. I can't bring the grandkids either. It wouldn't be fair of me to even try.
Whenever I cross the border into Canada no matter which province, I am seized by the feeling that my life in Canada is incomplete, an unfinished project. I don't know what my emotional self wants me to do, but it does distinctly shout that there is something urgent & large awaiting my attention where which has remained undone since I left in 1996. I am in Toronto and loving it, and yet am incomplete because I am in Toronto. I have no explanation.
At the moment, my only plan is to make more frequent trips back to Canada, maybe 3-4 times per year instead of annually. My grandma isnt' getting any younger, my parents are ailing, my aunts & uncles are fading away. There is so little time left before the generation before mine is gone and I must do what I can with the time that is left.
