Bangalore, Day 14, Part 1

It's been a great trip but I'm ready to go home: I miss my bed, my square dancing, my friends and mostly my hubbies. I'd go back in an instant though. There are somethings I didn't get to do, including riding the new metro, riding in an auto-rickshaw and seeing an elephant. I'd also set aside time for an eye exam & new glasses and see about getting some tailored clothes. I regret not stopping by KFC to see how the local menu differs from North America. I still wouldn't drive in Bangalore though.

I noticed a couple of cars today which had a sticker on the back urging anyone who witnesses the vehicle being driven rashly to call the number below. Frankly, the number looked 12 digits long: who is going to remember that when they're dodging a fast moving vehicle? And seriously, just how much worse does a Bangalore driver have to get to be labeled "rash"? My mind can't fathom it.

Checking out of the hotel was a novel experience in that the staff had no concept of a check out time: you check out at whatever hour you desire instead of the staff hounding you out by 11am or so. Still, it was a longer process than I've experienced before as they gave me copies of everything I ever signed the past two weeks: room service, laundry service, travel & driver services, etc.. The master account ran four pages but the grand total was just shy of 90,000 rupees, about $1.800. That is one hell of a bargain.

Checking in at the airport was relatively easy. The personal body scans at security were minimal but they examined every item in every carry-on, rejecting dangerous items like chapstick and chewing gum. My mess o' power cables for my tablet, phone camera and laptop caused some momentary consternation but I had the distinct impression I was given lighter treatment than the Indian travellers around me.

I also thought it interesting that security screening is segregated by sex. It's not a simple "ladies may opt for the scan & pat down by female security if they chose," but rather men are pulled from the line and ordered to one set of lines while women are ordered to another with no consideration of couples or families travelling together. It caused some significant delay as families had to sort & assig their travel docs before being separated.

I also thought it was a little odd that the process for documenting my departure from India was just as onerous as my arrival: forms to be completed, explanations for my visit, details of where I went, etc.. I expected that on arrival, but what are they going to do as I'm already one foot out the door?

I was happily surprised to learn I could get 45 min of free wifi at the Bangalore airport but the applicatin procedure requires receiving a serial number & authorization code via mobile text messaging so I enabled roaming on my mobile for the first time. Hopefully that text message won't cost $10,000.

The hotel and airport staff (among many others) have been so incredibly helpful these past two weeks. There's always someone to look after my luggage, make arrangements on my behalf, run errands as needed, etc.. I'm seriously not used to having things done for me on this scale but I think if Kent & Michael put in a bit more effort, I could grow into it.

Hey, Air France! I gave you two full weeks to equip your Airbus 340 planes with electrical outlets but I'm not seeing any improvement. WTF?! You are beginning to annoy me althogh I will admit your bathroom tissue is a vast improvement over the coarse-grain sandpaper which seems to be common in India.

One of the flight attendants looks like a tall version of billeyler --but less gay. I'm tempted to ask him an accounting or square dance question but he'd probably toss me out the door over the Balkans or something since I've also insulted their planes. The French can be so touchy.

The Bangalore-Paris hop is about 10.5 hours and it doesn't appear to be popular: perhaps only a third of the economy class is used, but that means more space to stretch and sleep. There are still lines at the toilets though. I slept about five hours in mixed degrees of comfort. My throat feels raw but I'm not sure if that's caused by dry cabin air or the insecticide fogging process as we taxied from the gate.

And now that I'm at Charles De Gaulle Airport, I had to go through security all over again, as though they could possibly be any more intrusive or thorough than Bangalore. If I fly internationally again soon, I will consider paying a lot more for a direct flight or find a connection somewhere else. Other airports may do the same, but I know for certain how inefficient this one is so I'm willing to take a risk others might be better.

Charging my toys and boarding in an hour...

Bangalore, Day 14, Part 2

Executive summary: I'm home.

When we last heard from our heroic world traveler, he was attempting to recharge his tablet & mobile phone at his gate at Charles de Gaulle Airport, just outside of Paris. Alas, it was not to be.

I think I had everything plugged in & charging for about five minutes when my name flashed up on a screen asking me to go to the nearest Air France courtesy desk. In this instance, nearest==only and while I was only fourth in line, I was fourth in line for more than a half-hour as the Brit at the front of the line had the Air France rep looking through every possible combination of flights for the following day to his destination, then doing it all over again by window or aisle seating.

When it was finally my turn, it was just to ask to see my permanent residence card. By the time I was back at my gate, however, the plane was in the process of boarding so I never did get my devices fully charged.

The 7.5 hour flight from Paris to Dulles was uneventful. Indeed, it was half-full so there was plenty of sprawl space for folks who wanted more room or to lay across several seats to sleep. I caught up on a lot of reading on my tablet, watched the latest Harry Potter movie (which probably would have made more sense if I had seen the movies or read the books leading up to it) and the last Transformers movie (which I suspect wouldn't have much more sense if I had seen the prior ones).

We landed just before 1pm EST. Passengers were unloaded at an outer terminal, shuttled in the "mobile lounges" to the customs area in the main building and were processed in a general fashion not unlike most slaughter houses. Kent & Michael were waiting for me and we headed home.

In all, I think I was in transit 21 hours total, 26 if you include the stopover in Paris and 29 if you include the transit time to & from the airports. No wonder my body is rebelling against me currently.

I've unpacked my suitcase and backpack, although I've yet to swap out the contents of my wallet and the extra pockets of my backpack. I'm working on going to bed after nightfall so I can acclimatize back into my usual daytime routine but the act of simply staying awake is taking a great deal of energy. I keep looking at the clock, wondering if it's 9pm yet. Nope, not yet. Still not yet. Nope. Damn, this day will never end.

I went to get my hair cut just a little while ago, the first time I've driven a car in two weeks. I'm feeling very proud of myself: despite recent adventures in driving, I stayed in my own lane, used turn signals and didn't honk at every vehicle, pedestrian or tree I passed. So there.

There's a huge tonne of emails to catch up on from the past day or so and I'd better get at it. So much to do, so little desire to do any of it...