I Hate "Little House on the Prairie"

I was never a fan of the television series. Indeed, the program still nauseates me. I never read the books so I won't comment on those.

It seems that one either loves it or hates the television version, but both camps generally react to the same characteristics: its saccharine treatment of problems with a happy ending in a one hour program. I know people who utterly love how sweet it all is, while others despise it for the same reason. I hate it for totally different reasons.

The program is largely centered on the trials & tribulations of a poor farming family on the American midwest prairie in the late 19th century.

1. There is no intrinsic nobility in poverty. Not having a penny to your name is not uplifting, ennobling or praise-worthy: it's just poverty. The only spiritually enlightening aspect might be a religious hallucination as your body begins shutting down from hunger. Take it from someone who has been poor: it's not a fun time. If you think you'd like to try, feel free to give me all of your money and assets. I promise I'll give serious thought to returning it if you decide poverty isn't for you.

2. Farming isn't a more noble profession than any other. There's an old literary myth that if you want to write a hero character, make him a farmer; if you want an evil antagonist, make him a banker or businessman. But guess what? I know farmers who are vile human beings. I also know bond traders and lawyers who are honest and sincere individuals.

I can easily tell you from childhood experience that farming is a body-breaking, hard scrabble, thankless way to make a living and, unless you're inheriting a farm, a painful introduction to the world of poverty. Not Recommended. Ever.

3. Small town life isn't paradise. Again, from bitter experience, I can assure you that small town life can suck, especially if you're The Other. Sure, it's a great place to live if everyone is Just Like You: the same colour, the same religion, kids going to the same school, everyone in happy marriages, etc.. Want to experience hell in a small town? Be divorced. Be non-white. Speak another language or with an accent. Have premarital sex or, worse, be a single mother. Be gay. Belong to the "wrong" religion. Be different in any way and you'll find out just how supportive one's small town might be. If you're especially lucky, there will be someone even more unpopular than you to attract the worst of the community ire.

So I hope you'll forgive me if I reach for the remote, leave the room or possibly shoot the television should re-runs of LHotP make it's insipid appearance.

We now return to you "Dancing with the Stars," "Glee" or whatever the hell kids are watching these days.

I Hate "Little House on the Prairie"

I was never a fan of the television series. Indeed, the program still nauseates me. I never read the books so I won't comment on those.

It seems that one either loves it or hates the television version, but both camps generally react to the same characteristics: its saccharine treatment of problems with a happy ending in a one hour program. I know people who utterly love how sweet it all is, while others despise it for the same reason. I hate it for totally different reasons.

The program is largely centered on the trials & tribulations of a poor farming family on the American midwest prairie in the late 19th century.

1. There is no intrinsic nobility in poverty. Not having a penny to your name is not uplifting, ennobling or praise-worthy: it's just poverty. The only spiritually enlightening aspect might be a religious hallucination as your body begins shutting down from hunger. Take it from someone who has been poor: it's not a fun time. If you think you'd like to try, feel free to give me all of your money and assets. I promise I'll give serious thought to returning it if you decide poverty isn't for you.

2. Farming isn't a more noble profession than any other. There's an old literary myth that if you want to write a hero character, make him a farmer; if you want an evil antagonist, make him a banker or businessman. But guess what? I know farmers who are vile human beings. I also know bond traders and lawyers who are honest and sincere individuals.

I can easily tell you from childhood experience that farming is a body-breaking, hard scrabble, thankless way to make a living and, unless you're inheriting a farm, a painful introduction to the world of poverty. Not Recommended. Ever.

3. Small town life isn't paradise. Again, from bitter experience, I can assure you that small town life can suck, especially if you're The Other. Sure, it's a great place to live if everyone is Just Like You: the same colour, the same religion, kids going to the same school, everyone in happy marriages, etc.. Want to experience hell in a small town? Be divorced. Be non-white. Speak another language or with an accent. Have premarital sex or, worse, be a single mother. Be gay. Belong to the "wrong" religion. Be different in any way and you'll find out just how supportive one's small town might be. If you're especially lucky, there will be someone even more unpopular than you to attract the worst of the community ire.

So I hope you'll forgive me if I reach for the remote, leave the room or possibly shoot the television should re-runs of LHotP make it's insipid appearance.

We now return to you "Dancing with the Stars," "Glee" or whatever the hell kids are watching these days.