The Day After

Last night's overindulgence has had some interesting side effects.

I fear my additional mass is causing space-time distortions in my immediate vicinity. Indeed, more sensitive gravimetric anomoly mapping satellites and experiments involving precise testing of Einstein's theories may well be thrown off by my sudden increase in weight. I apologize to science and its armies of disposable slave labour grad students.

Further, the act of digesting generated so much additional heat, I was also unable to sleep under any sort of blankets. Indeed, I was able to heat the entire room simply by laying on top of the bed. If you were scanning the mid-Atlantic US coast in infrared last night from orbit, I'm the hot spot immediately north of Washington DC. I also apologize in advance for accidentally incinerating anyone who wandered too close. I fear I may have inadvertently cooked all the food in our pantry as well as our neighbours'.

But it was so worth it. Mmmmm...

The Day After

Last night's overindulgence has had some interesting side effects.

I fear my additional mass is causing space-time distortions in my immediate vicinity. Indeed, more sensitive gravimetric anomoly mapping satellites and experiments involving precise testing of Einstein's theories may well be thrown off by my sudden increase in weight. I apologize to science and its armies of disposable slave labour grad students.

Further, the act of digesting generated so much additional heat, I was also unable to sleep under any sort of blankets. Indeed, I was able to heat the entire room simply by laying on top of the bed. If you were scanning the mid-Atlantic US coast in infrared last night from orbit, I'm the hot spot immediately north of Washington DC. I also apologize in advance for accidentally incinerating anyone who wandered too close. I fear I may have inadvertently cooked all the food in our pantry as well as our neighbours'.

But it was so worth it. Mmmmm...