New Appliances

Yesterday, we took delivery of our new washer & dryer, both LG models, not top-of-the-line but the next notch down.

To launder our clothes, we now need to *boot* the appliances.

I kid you not: there is a separate on/off button to press on each which initializes the system. Only then may one select the wash cycle, water temperatures, etc..

Yes, I know many standard appliances have embedded real-time processors, but this pair make a positively happy-fun show of their start-up procedure, complete with imitation bell sounds and colourful LED displays. It's a little unnerving. I want to clean my clothes, not watch a song & dance number by WasherOS. Hey LG: how much extra for the non-tap dancing washer & dryer models?

I should have been ready for this, I suppose. Only a couple of months ago, I finally upgraded my cell phone to something constructed this millennium, the Motorola E815. Even it takes three seconds to boot once powered up, entertaining me with colourful displays and pre-programmed jingles. Yes, it gives you brain cancer, but you got a floor show while it happened... what more could you want? My microwave tells me to "Enjoy your meal" after it finishes irradiating my food but somehow I expected nothing but rote platitudes from a device designed for fast-food preparation so it was less of a shock.

Now I'm starting to wonder... do my new washer & dryer have pre-programmed easter eggs hidden inside? Is there a magic key combination which when pressed in the middle of, say, a delicates rinse cycle which will cause neat things to occur? Or will it just crash? What would the blue screen of death look like anyway?

Hmmm.

New Appliances

Yesterday, we took delivery of our new washer & dryer, both LG models, not top-of-the-line but the next notch down.

To launder our clothes, we now need to *boot* the appliances.

I kid you not: there is a separate on/off button to press on each which initializes the system. Only then may one select the wash cycle, water temperatures, etc..

Yes, I know many standard appliances have embedded real-time processors, but this pair make a positively happy-fun show of their start-up procedure, complete with imitation bell sounds and colourful LED displays. It's a little unnerving. I want to clean my clothes, not watch a song & dance number by WasherOS. Hey LG: how much extra for the non-tap dancing washer & dryer models?

I should have been ready for this, I suppose. Only a couple of months ago, I finally upgraded my cell phone to something constructed this millennium, the Motorola E815. Even it takes three seconds to boot once powered up, entertaining me with colourful displays and pre-programmed jingles. Yes, it gives you brain cancer, but you got a floor show while it happened... what more could you want? My microwave tells me to "Enjoy your meal" after it finishes irradiating my food but somehow I expected nothing but rote platitudes from a device designed for fast-food preparation so it was less of a shock.

Now I'm starting to wonder... do my new washer & dryer have pre-programmed easter eggs hidden inside? Is there a magic key combination which when pressed in the middle of, say, a delicates rinse cycle which will cause neat things to occur? Or will it just crash? What would the blue screen of death look like anyway?

Hmmm.